New Years is the time when we look back at the past and make lists. I’m not doing that. Running down the past and making excuses for the year that is leaving is akin to reminiscing about an awful husband on the day of your wedding to a new husband. Let it go. Say good-bye and embrace the new.
What will 2014 bring? I’m going to be positive here. Sort of. It will be … much the same. It will. We know it.
I have a wish list.
- Because it will be 2014, and No Child Left Behind has decreed it, all children will be able to work and comprehend on grade level. No matter their IQ, be it 126 or 85, grade level it will be. My job will become both harder and easier. All students in one grade will need to be challenged the same! Wow! Harder. And my 3 grades in 1 classes will have three distinct levels of learning, not one for each child! Easier.
- People will finally understand that HEART DISEASE is the number one killer of women and men in the USA. Not breast cancer, not accidents, not the common cold.
- Lung cancer and colon cancer and pancreatic cancer will get more funding for research to end these deadly scourges to human life. Three to five percent survival is NOT okay.
- Stores that sell bras will finally realize that a woman who needs a 44DDD cannot crawl on the floor to find it on a rack, but a 32A can. Larger on top of the racks, smaller at the bottom.
- Toilet stalls in ladies restrooms will no longer have ½ to 2 inch gaps on either side of the door. Really, for a country known for its prudishness, these glorified tent flaps are obscene. Two shout outs to the truck stops for having the best stalls.
- And while we are in the stall, either make them wider or longer. American butts are large. To close the door in a short stall the width of a close hanger one is required to step beside or straddle the toilet. The door could open out. And raise the mammoth toilet tissue holder by about one foot. It doesn’t need to be waist high. It needs to be out of my way!
- Restaurants will realize that a decent meal is NOT meat, potatoes, corn, and bread. That’s enough starch for my sweat to stiffen my clothes. Treat vegetables with respect (don’t cook them until the toothless among us can eat them without trouble.) That does not mean add bacon and butter to them. Try something new.
- Drivers will not text, eat, drink, talk on the phone, put on make-up, mess with the sound system or read. They will drive. And stop killing people.
- Congress will get something done. Something worthwhile, not self-serving.
- The news will actually be news: world news, US news, local news. No cat videos, no movie star tidbits, no hero worship of athletes. News. In the morning, in the evening, for the full half hour or hour.
- Little known and self-destructive “stars” and athletes will no longer be mourned for weeks on end. Mention it on OMG Insider or ESPN and go on.
- The movie rating system will be revised. A blood bath will earn an “R.” Smoking will earn a “PG-13.” Swearing will have a handy list: 2 “f” words = PG-13, 3 = R. Many other words will have the same treatment.
- Parents will let their children know the pain of disappointment and how to deal with it. That means they will not call or e-mail the teacher, coach or director. Nor will they bad- mouth these people. Disappointment: it’s part of life.
- Mental illness will be seen as an illness, not a weakness, and receive better funding and care.
- Academics will be stressed over athletics in schools. You know, like it is in real life.
- People will treat others will respect. Homosexual and transgender persons will not have to fear being beaten, used and abused.
- Animal cruelty will receive severe punishment and will end.
- Minimum wage will rise to a living wage.
- Everyone in the country will be here legally.
- Parents will appreciate the gift that is their children and will care for them.
Maybe I’m wrong. Things will change. Right.